Before reading, watch the trailer here. If you’ve already seen it, watch it again, and again.
Now that those images are forever burned into your brain, let’s break the trailer down shall we?
We open to an ultra fast background on Wade Wilson. He’s got major cancer, his girlfriend Vanessa Carlysle (presumably, as she’s not named) is being supportive and hopeful. Wade, eh, not so much. In the comics he leaves her, finding it immoral to put her through his death.
Next is the offer from Department K/Weapon X, to make him a ‘super hero’ while curing his cancer. As in the comics, how this is done, is not described to Wade. We’re given a bit of hope for Vanessa and Wade’s relationship with the line, “Just promise you’ll do right by me, so I can do right by someone else.” Then a quip about the super-suit not being green or animated… gee I wonder why.
Then some quick scenes of Wade getting apparently tortured. Over him, with a match in her mouth, is Christina aka Angle Dust. This could be the introduction of his healing factor or his time at The Workshop, where in the comics Doctor Killebrew and Ajax examine Deadpool’s limits with excruciating “tests”. Lovingly referred to as “Posh-Spice” we do see Ajax is involved, so I’m thinking these scenes will be a combination of The Workshop, and the introduction of Wilson’s healing factor.
And boom, we’re apparently modern-day. To the tune of “Shoop” by Salt-N-Pepa Deadpool kick total and complete ass with his usual nonsense quips because, “Daddy needs to express some rage.”
We quickly see a hole through Wade’s arm, he kicks more ass while DMX notifies us all that “X gon’ give it to ya“. Some shots of non sequitur violence, a stripper, and a sex scene (possibly Vanessa). Then we see Colossus sucker punch our beloved ‘Pool! This seems to verify that the Deadpool movie is indeed in the X-men Universe, as was announced here.
Here we see the first clear shot of a women with short hair, she’s been identified as Ellie Phimister aka Negasonic Teenage Warhead. She’s seen a few other times, seemingly not anti-Deadpool.
Then some lovely and vivid back and forth with who could only be Weasel, Deadpool’s on-again off-again tech helper and arms dealer.
And next we’re in the Deadhut (Deadpool’s house) with his roommate/prisoner Blind Al. Their relationship is a strange one, where Deadpool was hired to kill her, but instead took her prisoner. In the comics he occasionally puts her psychological torment for fun, while she sometimes slips blanks into his guns.
We then get some more hilarious back and forth between ‘Pool and Weasel, a brief look at a fight scene with Ajax, more murder and mayhem. Then a gloriously graphic 3-in-1 pistol “triple kill” mid-backflip, Deadpool all over.
Wade quickly informs us that he’ll be touching himself tonight, more majestic descriptions from Weasel, and we’re done.
Coming out in February of 2016… I can hardly freakin’ wait!